Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Time to Leap!

I suppose it’s true, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. I was hoping that maybe our tree was planted on a steep hill or a stiff wind could blow it as far as needed, but alas no luck. It makes me want to break out into song (now is a good time to mention that I was a big Facts of Life fan): “You take the good, you take the bad. You take them both and then you have the facts of life, the facts of life.”

Parker and I pulled in a few minutes early to a birthday party recently and it was obvious that we were the first friends to arrive. Her voiced fears from the backseat were pretty much what I was already thinking, “Can we please just sit here for a few minutes to make sure I know someone inside the party”. I wasn’t about to let on that I was already 3 steps ahead of her with that idea. It was a quiet few minutes that we sat there starring out the window waiting for others to arrive but it might as well have been an hour. You could’ve heard a pin drop and yet the voices and noises running through both of our heads were most likely deafening. Parker sat in the far back seat biting her nails and glancing back and forth across the parking lot while I sat behind the wheel doing the exact same thing. We silently questioned ourselves…Will we know anyone? Who will I talk to? Am I wearing the right thing? What if I don’t know what to do when I walk in? Would it be easier to be home snuggled up watching a good movie?

We both finally broke the silence and decided it was time to head into the party. Once we were inside the party the fears were replaced with friendly faces and a gracious host and we truly did have a great time. So why then all of the fretting ahead of time? I suppose it may be our own voices that are sometimes the loudest or the only ones we hear. We are so quick to talk ourselves out of our ideas and dreams even before we begin. For me, it has been this blog. I can’t remember the exact date of my last post and to be honest, I have been too afraid to even look for fear that it might give me one more reason to put off yet another post. I do know that it has been at least since December 1st because that date will forever be engrained in my heart as the day we were surprised with the mind blowing news that we would be expecting baby #3. Shew! That story is a full blog all on its own and one that I’m sure I will be posting soon.

Some people live their life as one big face book posting (and when I say some, I really mean ME!). Something fun happens, you post. Your kids say something adorable, you post. Big accomplishment for you or your family, you post. Frustrated with carline, you post (totally guilty on that one). Exciting trip planned, you post. Child’s birthday, you post. The list is endless. I have now shifted to where I live my life as one big blog post. My mind is constantly racing with ideas from the moments and lessons that happen throughout each day. I suppose the long hiatus are the fears and the voices of all the reasons why the blog should no longer happen. For me the blog is a virtual journal of my life, my faith, my hardships, my blessings, my lessons, my marriage, my kids, and my surprises. It is a way that I can document all of that “fun” for my children and their future. I am working hard at quieting the voices and falling into the space of uncertainly and uncharted waters of a full time blogger. If you choose to join me, I welcome you on this adventure of twists and turns, sharp corners, brief moments of stillness and the anticipation of the steep climb. It may not always be eloquently written and you can bet that my middle school grammar teacher would sometimes cringe when reading the blog but it is my heart and I want to share it with all of you.

I figured I could no longer use the excuse of, “I just wish I had an extra day and then I could do those things I have been longing to do”. Its leap year and it’s our extra day to dream big and follow through. So the question is no longer WHEN will you leap but rather HOW will you leap? Welcome back to my journey!


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