Our normal school morning routine includes Daddy dropping Parker off at school on the way to his school. It’s a great little system. This day however, was special. It was the first day of 2nd grade; therefore, Mommy was up to bat. I was excited to be the one that would set her off on her new journey. I pictured deep talks and inspirational moments the whole way to school. Have I mentioned I have a problem with unrealistic expectations?
We had it all arranged, “Mommy, you’re going to walk me all the way to my class, right?” This was the question asked over and over again the week prior to school. Of course I was going to walk her into class, was there any other option?
As we pulled around the school through the long car line, Parker made the big announcement, “I think I can walk myself in this year.” What? My thoughts were scrambling trying to come up with the encouraging words to cheer her on for her grown up decision, but really all I was thinking is…..what? What about our verbal agreement? Even Cooper knew this was a big step for Parker. As I was trying to muster up the right words, Cooper responded appropriately for both of us, “are you sure Parker?” She was set and her mind was made up; however, she did agree that we should walk her up to the sidewalk and she could take it the rest of the way.
So we parked, went across the cross walk and no sooner than when her first foot hit the curb she quickly responded with a small wave and no eye contact, “Bye Mom”. What? Wait! STOP!!! Someone had just kicked me in my chest. I was still licking my wounds that I was no longer walking her to her class but now you don’t want me to hang out with you until the bell rings? Mom? Who’s Mom? And what happened to Mommy? Hug good bye? Kiss? A little eye contact? STOP!!!
I physically shut down and I’m pretty sure Parker’s life flashed before my eyes right there on the sidewalk. In fact, if you had asked me what she was wearing after she had walked away, I’m pretty sure I would’ve said a diaper.
I realize that this is what we work for as a parent and seeing her so confident and independent was a great accomplishment especially for Parker who can be so painfully shy in new situations. Later that day, I was applying some vinyl letters to a friend’s wall that said, “We give our children two things, roots and wings”. I have always loved that saying but really all I wanted to do after reading it over and over again that day was vomit in my mouth. Everyone says it goes fast and to enjoy each moment, little did I truly know just how fast it would really go.
All week I have heard a phrase repeated over and over again in my head, “stop, drop and roll”. I decided to start thinking through the phrase and put a voice to it. I like to think of it as a love letter from God.
STOP the busyness of the day and just sit quietly in My presence (Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28).
DROP to your knees and send her off in prayer (Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present the request to God. Philippians 4:6)
and for goodness sake, learn to ROLL with it because this is only the beginning of what I have in mind for you and your children (For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11)!
I’m hoping the spirit will gently nudge me to STOP, DROP & ROLL the next time I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest or I feel like I’m running around with my hair on fire.
Way to go Parker, God’s got big plans for you!
|First Day of 2nd Grade!|
|First Day for Daddy & Parker!|